You would have to ride your bike around Ohio for 20 hours to burn the 7200 calories in 18 pieces of pie.  Good thing I only ate 10 pieces of pie as I biked around Ohio for 20 days and 350 miles.

I love the latest Pizza Hut commercial touting a P'Zone at a pound of calzone for just $5.  Sounds like a great deal right, well you would have to do a Sprint Distance Triathlon (1/2 mile swim, 13 mile bike and 3 mile run) to burn the 1260 calories in that guy.  Now even after I ran a race like that, scarfing down folded pizza with 80% of the recommended fat you should have in a day (46g in the whole thing) doesn't sound like a great idea  Now Pizza hut does list a serving as 1/2 of the P'Zone so it is recommended you share.  To give you a calorie comparison, you could eat 2 Big Macs and a small fry for the same 1200 calories.  Or better yet, get the Veggie or Ham and Pineapple Personal Pan Pizza for 590 calories and not blow the waistline.

A Grand Rapids Michigan baseball stadium has on it's menu a 4 pound 4,800 calorie burger with 5 beef patties, 5 slices of cheese, 1 cup of chili and more.  Want to give this belt buster a go and not pay the price?  You would have to go out on that ball field and play for 11.5 hours to burn the 4,800 calories in that thing.  So it might be best to splint with a friend ... or 10.

So over the weekend we got dumped with snow.  So, out came the snow gear and I would pull the munchkin around in her sled doing donuts and pulling her over snow piles.  She is not ready to take it down a hill, so for the time being I am the motor.  So what does that have to do with food?  Well, you would have to pull your kid around in a sled for 3.5 hours to burn the 1200 calories in KFC's Variety Big Box Meal (and that doesn't include the 32 oz drink.)  Just when you think the fast food places can't create a meal with more calories, they surprise you.  Still want to visit The Colonel but don't want to wreak havoc on the waistline?  Go for a grilled chicken option or salad.  Or if you have to get your fried chicken fix, just go with a few pieces or get the strips to control the portion sizes.

The other night we were baking cookies as a family so that Santa has something to munch between houses.  By the way, don't try to explain to a 5 year old that Santa does not really need the cookies and would rather share the celery and carrots that are left out for the reindeer, just bake the cookies.  I was using one of the tubes of store bought cookie dough.  My wife and I had a laugh, because during college when I was putting the weight on, I used to sit down and eat the whole tube of cookie dough while watching football on a Sunday.  Well, you would have to run at 8mph for 2 hours to burn the 2429 calories in the entire tube.  Or to really blow you mind, that is only 100 calories less than the Baskin-Robbins Large Reese's Peanut Butter Shake that weighs in at 2320.  For comparison, I consume 2500 calories to maintain my weight at 170 pounds, so that is 90% of my calories for the day in one tube or one cup.  WOW!

You would have to do 270 minutes of indoor rock wall climbing (that's 4 1/2 hours) to burn the 2310 calories in a Baskin-Robbins Large Heath Shake.  That more calories than many people should consume in a day.  Not to mention the 108g of fat which is almost double what any person should have in a day.  Looking to cure the sweet tooth without blowing all the work you did?  Get a single scoop of any of the Sherbets or Frozen Yogurts and stay under 200 calories.  Still the indulgence, with none of the guilt.  My personal favorite ... Maui Brownie Madness Frozen Yogurt, 210 cals and takes care of my ice cream fix.

It's baseball season and you know what that mean ..... BALLPARK FOOD!  My favorite, and my favorite way to blow my waste size back out.  You would have to run around the bases for 4 hours and 15 minutes to burn the 2750 calories in a hotdog, soft pretzel, nachos, a box of cracker jack and 2 light beers.  So does that mean baseball can't be fun, it can, but you just have to choose wisely.  Just get the hotdog, have one beer and share a box of cracker jack with 4 other people and you bring that down to 700 calories, which is much better that the alternative.  By the way, if you are wondering why I chose the items I did ... because it is what I used to eat at a typical baseball game, but add a bag of peanuts as well.

I was watching TV the other night and it was getting late so you know who starts advertising at that 10pm hour ... that's right Taco Bell and their marketing of the 4th meal.  Well the new item is the new Fiesta Platter.  Well, you would have to ice skate for 110 minutes to burn the 1100 calories in this platter.  And if you look, the chicken version doesn't save you any calories.  That is almost half the daily recommended calories for an average man.  With 50g of fat (75% of the daily recommended) and 150% of the recommended sodium (bad news for high blood pressure.)  Still want to hit the border but looking for a better choice, no problem.  Take a look at the Fresco Menu.  You can order many items "fresco" and they back off the cheese and add more lettuce and tomatoes instead.  Go for a Fresco Chicken Soft Taco for 170 cals or a Fresco Burrito Supreme for 330 cals.  It is all about the research and making good choices.

This past weekend, we went out for breakfast.  We do that on occasion and I always do really well with an egg beater omelet with some oatmeal.  When we sat down staring us in the face was Bob Evans Stacked & Stuffed Blueberry Cream Hotcakes.  They are an Ohio based chain found in the midwest.  Anyway, it looked so good with the cream cheese stuff pancakes smothered on blueberries.  But I resisted.  Why?  Well, I would have to rowed for 120 minutes on a rowing machine to burn the 1099 calories in those bad boys.  Add 35 calories for every slice of bacon and 125 for every sausage link and it gets worse.  We debated about getting them and splitting them which would have worked, but then we realized that only 1 pancake would not have been that satisfying so we just decided to resist.  Instead I got the Turkey Florentine Omelet made with egg beaters and it was only 500 calories and much better for me. 

McDonalds introduced their newest breakfast item and like most of us, it is new, so we have to try it.  But you will have to spend 60 minutes on the elliptical trainer (that is a hard 60 minutes) to burn the 610 calories in the McDonald's McSkillet Burrito with Sausage.  That's 50 calories more than the Big Mac.  The real shocker in this menu item is the 36g of fat (54% of the recommended daily allowance for most people, ouch.)  Looking for the better McDonald's breakfast choice, get the the Egg McMuffin at 300 cals.  The Canadian Bacon on it is very lean and a great protein source.

You would have to do a spinning class for 2 minutes to burn the 25 calories in 1 Hershey Kiss.  OK, I know what you are thinking and it almost seems like the perfect treat right, almost no calories.  And for the most part, 1 or 2 pieces of small chocolate are fine, but remember, each one is 25, not the handful so they can add up quickly.  1 can turn into 10 and that means 20 minutes in that spin class.  Just like everything, it is all about moderation, so when you reach for that candy jar on a co-workers desk, remember, 1 or 2 is fine, but they add up.

For those that have seen it on TV, Mc Donald's has brought back the McRib.  Not surprised, they bring it back every year.  So how bad is it?  Well, you would have to ride for 50 minutes on a stationary bike to burn the 490 calories in the McRib.  While the calorie content is not too bad, the fat percentage is about 1/3 of the daily fat requirements so indulge wisely.  Want small fries and a medium coke with that?  Add another 50 minutes and your fat% jumped to half what you should get all day.

I know, it is been a while since I did an episode of If you eat this.  Today I dedicate it to the mega burrito.  You know the burrito that you get at those "we make it in front of you so it must be good" burrito places.  Well, you have to walk 2 hours and 30 minutes to burn off the 800 calories in a Baja Fresh Grilled Chicken Burrito (the one that is the size of your head.)  And yes, I ate one!  It is part of my "4 weeks of rest, I am going to eat some junk on occasion" program.  I walked over there (only 30 minutes on way) and when I got there, I looked at the chicken salads, but really wanted a burrito.  So I choose chicken, rice, beans, veggies, cheese and salsa.  All sounds healthy right.  Well, for the most part it is.  When I got back to my hotel and looked it up (out of curiosity) I about fell on the floor, then felt guilty.  But here is the problem ... portion size.  Half of that burrito would have been enough.  Here is the problem.  That 12 inch flour tortilla they use is 350 cals all by itself.  So what should I have done.  Got the chicken salad (only 310 cals) or only eaten half of the thing.  But that is OK, I am willing to put my body out there for science and you.  Just goes to show that you can still eat healthy, but eat too much and gain weight.

I know I have not done an If you eat this in a while, so I thought I would have some fun and dedicate this one to my post Half Ironman meal (so to speak.)  Now, I will do this one a little backwards, but to replace the 4333 calories I burned during the 6 hours I was out there, I ended up eating:

6 slices of Pizza
1 Steak Sub
Order of Cheese Fries
1 box (12) Ho Hos

Yes, nutritious, I know, but this was my treat and celebration meal.  Remember, we were camping for this race, so my options were limited to the area pizza place and the goods I could find at the grocery store.  Now if you add in the calories that I burned just to stay alive that day, my body used up about 8000 calories during the day.  Now there is no way to eat that much during a race like this (not that you would even want to.)  So really all I had up to that point was 3 energy bars, 3 bananas, 4 bottles of Gatorade and 8 gels (about 2500 calories.)  The interesting thing was that it took about 4 hours after I was done before I even started to get hungry, but when I did ... I was ready to eat, everything.  It was a nice splurge and a way to reward myself of the things I had not even though about touching during the months of training.  The next day, I got back on the wagon and started eating right again.

You would have to bike at 17mph or faster for 1 hour to burn the 560 calories found in the McDonalds Sausage Egg and Cheese McGriddle.  Don't get me wrong, I love the thing and it is one of the tastiest creations that McDonalds has come up with in a long time.  The problem, it is high calories and high in fat (32g of fat.)  Believe it or not, it is actually higher in calories and fat than a Big Mac.  Want and alternative, then make your own at home.  Here is what I do:

Place 2 Eggo Nutrigrain Pancakes in the toaster and toast.
Spray a small microwave glass bowl (about the size of the pancake) with non stick cooking spray
Pour 1/4 cup egg beaters and nuke for 30 seconds, turn and then nuke for another 30 seconds.
Microwave low fat sausage (I like the Morningstar Farms Veggie Sausage.  It tastes the same and is really low in fat and cals.  Don't want to try the veggie thing, go with turkey sausage.)
Add a slice of low fat or fat free cheese, I go with the Kraft 2% American
Put it all together

Let's compare:

You decide, but 1/3 the fat and almost half of the calories.  I don't sacrifice the foods that I like to eat, I just figure out how to make them better.  Worried you are on the go?  Make it up the night before (just leave the pancakes and cooked sausage frozen, add the cooked egg and cheese and place in fridge) and nuke it on the way out the door or at work.  Want to get the same thing but you like the McMuffin, just use Thomas' Light Multigrain English muffins and you can get the same thing.  You get the idea.

Last night I went to the movies and while the smell of popcorn was in the air, I would have to run for 90 minutes to burn the 1325 calories in a medium popcorn with butter (you don't want to know about the large.)  By just leaving off the butter, you can shave off about 425 calories and get that down to 900.  Looking for the best game plan ... get the small without butter which is about 400 calories and make sure you split it with your date and you just went to a nice 200 calorie snack at the movies.  Why is popcorn so high in calories?  The oil that is used to cook the popcorn is where all of the calories are located.  Watch movies at home, go with some of the reduced fat versions that you can get at the store.  To give you a comparison, 1 cup of Orville Redenbacher's Extra Movie Theater Butter is 35 calories per cup or about 525 for the whole bag (and 37g of fat.)  Compare that to the 94% fat free version at 15 calories per cup or 225 calories for the whole bag (and 2g of fat.)  They even make mini bags that are 100 calories for the mini bag.  That way you can eat the whole bag and no guilt.  When I am traveling I even pack them for my evening snack on the road.  Even if the hotel does not have a microwave in the room, if there is a restaurant in the hotel, then they have one in the kitchen, or there is probably a break room for employees that has one.  If you ask someone nicely, they are usually more than happy to pop it for you.  You might need to pack extra bags to use a bribery to get the staff to pop it for you, but hey, great way to make friends.

I thought I would dedicate this "If you eat this" to the other days 2.5 hour training session.  You would have to swim 1.2 miles and run 13 miles to burn the 1490 calories contained in Burger Kings Enormous Omelet sandwich (730cals) with large hash browns (620cals) and orange juice (140cals.) This gut buster can start your day off with 3/4 of your daily calorie needs and 90% of your recommended daily fat intake for the day.  Change to the egg and cheese croissan'wich, small hash browns and orange juice and you cut that in half to 700 calories (which is still a lot for breakfast.)

I know I have not posted an If you eat this, in a while, so I picked a good one.  If you ate 3 slices of Pizza Hut's 12" Pepperoni Lovers Pan Pizza, you would have to walk on the treadmill at 3mph for 190 minutes to burn the 990 calories contained in those three slices.  You can shave 70 calories a slice by going with thin crust instead of pan crust.  Still wanting pizza ... go with the supreme which has more veggies and less fatty meats and in a thin crust you are down to 230 calories a slice.  Go with the thin crust Veggie Lovers and you are at 180 calories per slice.  Cut that back to 2 slices and a side salad (go easy on the dressing) and you just had a reasonable meal at a pizza joint.

This episode is brought to you by the sudden peanut butter attack that I had the other day.  Peanut butter is one of the tastes that I just can't let go.  I was standing in line at the grocery store and staring me in the face is the KING SIZE Reese's Peanut Butter Cup pack (4 cups.)

Well, you would have to jump rope for 30 minutes to burn the 460 calories contained in the 4 cups (that is 115 calories per cup.

So, I put them back and instead when I got back spread 1 spoonful of peanut butter on 2 wheat crackers and it was the same 114 cals, but did not have near the sugar and I knew I did not have the willpower to just eat 1 cup.

This edition of "If you eat this" is actually a drink.  You would have to walk (between 2.5 - 3mph) for 90 minutes to burn off the 300 calories in a Grande Starbucks Peppermint Mocha.  And Grande is the medium size.

And as we roll into the holidays, those wonderful flavored coffee drinks beckon us in the mornings.  But the problem is the calories packed into these beverages can easily overload the calories we need.  I used to plow through 2-3 venti Mochas that came it at 400 calories a piece.  That adds up to 1200 additional calories that I had in the day.  So I still need my coffee fix, but instead I now just get regular coffee and use splenda and cinnamon to sweeten it.  Calories ... 0.  Don't get me wrong, I love the coffee drinks and will still get them on occasion, but I make sure I am aware of the calorie impact.  When I do get them, I go for the small and I ask for no-fat milk and have them hold the whipped cream  That is the difference between 400 and 175 calories for the small with non-fat milk.  So do the research and just be aware of the calorie impact to you day.